so i save all my breath for the sails

new name

Sat, 07 May 2005 04:11:34 GMT

i got a new livejournal name: mahibos. i like it. add me!

weird

Tue, 03 May 2005 00:48:11 GMT

i just had a sudden urge to go play the sims. i would right this second except we kept that program on our old computer because it makes everything slow... so it's downstairs. and if i start playing it i won't stop until at least 9:30. so... hmph.

i was looking through this community coupon booklet and found that there is a local business in which you can have ice delivered to your door. large amounts of ice, in fact. so if you ever, for some obscure reason, need copious amounts of packed ice, you're covered.
just thought you should know.

i got prom dress today! twas exciting. actually, it wasn't, for the first 10 minutes or so, because i realized that the company sent me a size smaller than i had ordered and the dress was a lot shorter than i thought it was going to be. no worries, though. because it actually fits better than the larger size would have and i'm beginning to like it the more i twirl around in it. i'm still calling the company and complaining about the size screw-up, though. they lucked out that it actually fit better. that's ridiculous. even the invoice has the correct size on it... i don't know what happened. losers.

good news for people who love bad news

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 18:09:40 GMT

good news:
-today i'm going to see my relatives in kansas city for my grandpa's 85th birthday! my relatives from massachusetts are in town and we're all going to celebrate. i haven't seen 2 of my cousins since i was about 12 and i haven't seen my aunt and uncle and other cousin since i was 14. so, i'm excited. it should be fantastic.
-today is tyler's birthday! happy birthday, tyler! i hope you have a super fantastic unbelieveably wonderful day.

bad news:
-last night our dog sadie died. we knew it was going to happen--she's nearly fifteen and has loads of medical problems--and last night when i got home the first thing my mom said to me was "sadie's dying." so it wasn't a huge shock. but it was still unbelieveably sad. i said goodbye to her and cried a lot, but now i'm okay. it's just that now all of our "original" pets have died. her and bea, another dog that died last year, were the first animals i knew from the beginning. i can vividly remember holding them as puppies in my hands when i was 4 or 5. sadie was the sweetest, kindest dog we've ever had, with no contest. this was really hard on my mom. we buried her this morning in our "dog graveyard" in the woods behind our house. it sounds weird, yeah. but we've got four of them back there now, and each of them has a circle of trees surrounding their graves. so it's also kind of peaceful.
-i'm sad.

tomorrow

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 04:27:21 GMT

tomorrow i will clean my room and outfit my clothes.
i promise.

what would you say?

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 03:18:24 GMT

this is interesting.
it's weird to read what people say when no one knows who they are.
reminds me that everyone has imperfections.
i like this idea.

agh family

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 05:05:03 GMT

we have a 5-day weekend off school for spring break. HELL YES.
my family was supposed to go camping tomorrow through saturday and i have been planning on this for a week or so and i had to rearrange my schedule, take off work, etc. to accommodate this. now all of a sudden at 11 p.m. my parents say "oh, it's supposed to rain and be really cold. we're not going."
aglskhgl! i don't mind so much except that they couldn't make up their mind until the last minute. i like camping, i would have enjoyed it, and it would have been okay if it had not been such late notice.
i was kind of looking forward to getting out of the house, too. clearing my mind and all.
so now i have nothing to do this weekend.

tyler, do you want to go to KC friday or saturday? everything closes early on sundays and i don't want to go on monday because we have to go back to school on tuesday... idk, talk to me sometime tomorrow. how was your day off? oh, and apparently we're not the only ones mad at you-know-who at the moment. i shall fill you in later!

it's been a long day

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 00:22:18 GMT

i decided on iowa. yay! thanks for everyone's help. i think it was imminent that i was to choose iowa. it was... inherent. today is "i words" day. imminent. inherent. iowa. IOCASTE! (i know, it's jo-cast-ah. cool name, though).

i took my senior pictures on saturday and today the woman who took them--an amateur but FANTASTIC photographer--gave my mom a CD with a bunch of the best ones on it. a lot of them rule. it makes me happy. we tried to do some with the oskar, but the oskar was not cooperative and most of those suck. but it's okay. anyway, my senior pictures are going to pretty much be awesome.

for some reason i have this weird urge to bling-up my cell phone. with swarovski crystals. a la paris hilton. not pink though. something cooler. i don't understand this, because i am not the blingin' type. but i really, really want to unnecessarily cover my cheapo cell phone with dumb-looking crystals. i promise, i'm not usually a trendwhore!

i need to alter my diet. i eat so much crap that it's ridiculous. i'm not overweight, but i don't want to get into bad eating habits and not be able to stop later. i don't think i need to eat less, i just need to eat healthier. my problem is that i'm not the type of person who can eat three square meals a day and be fine... i have to eat constantly. i think i just need smaller, healthier portions more frequently. because what ends up happening is that i get hungry and i go get a chocolate bar or something and it isn't good for me and it doesn't fill me up... which means i have to go get more chocolate/crapfood.
i wish i could exercise more... this stupid knee thing is holding me up. i think i could go to the Y and walk on a treadmill for a while and be fine but there's no way i'll be able to do anything strenuous for a while... it sucks, because NOW that i get into a health kick, i break myself :( mom got a tai chi and yoga dvd and she said i'd be able to safely do the tai chi so maybe i'll try that.

ugh, long day. this sucks. i'm going to bed early tonight.

ahahaa

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 00:36:27 GMT

ahhh my father is a funny man.
we just had a money-for-college talk and it was.. interesting.
i kept saying i want to go to iowa and he kept saying "i like iowa, that's great, but if you ever change your mind you can always come back and go to MU and live at home."
:o WHAT?!
here is what i think has happened.
dad didn't put away enough money for college (quite a bit, but not enough for what it costs today) and he is now realizing that he's going to have to go into debt in order to pay for my education. if i go to iowa, this will undoubtedly occur. if i go to MU, it may occur. if i go to MU and live at home, it will not occur.
see, at iowa, i've earned myself nearly $40,000 worth of scholarship money for 4 years which is probably nearly half of what it is going to actually cost to go there. this money makes going there possible, but it's still going to cost him a LOT of money.
at MU, i've gotten about $22,000 worth of scholarship money for 4 years--which isn't as much as iowa, but you also have to consider that i'm paying out-of-state versus in-state tuition. that money covers a great deal of tuition money--so if i go to MU, dad will be paying for a bit of tuition and all of room and board.
see where i'm going with this?
if i live at home (aghsgdlkhglkhgs!) that room and board cost is eliminated and he's almost totally covered with what he has saved up because my scholarship money takes care of most of it.
!!!!!
i'm not going to a school i don't want to go to because it's easier on him money-wise. yes, it is a consideration, but i am not basing my decision on money. as far as i'm concerned, i've more than done my part with all the scholarships i've earned. it's his fault for not saving enough. i don't know what he expected, but i'm not compromising what i want and i am sure as hell not staying at home next year and commuting to school. i am more than ready to be on my own for a while.

i need help

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 16:26:04 GMT

so now is the point where i have to actually decide where i'm going to school next year.
right now i'm leaning toward iowa, but i don't know. i really don't. help me!

IOWA PROS -far from home...but still close enough -awesome honors/presidential scholars benefits -good food (hah) -exceptionally nice people -seemingly small campus	MU PROS -i know more about the school/area -more AP chem credit (if i do well on the test) -$5000 less than iowa
IOWA CONS -horrifically cold climate -pressure from L to join the marching band -$5000 more than MU	MU CONS -i know too many people there -too close to home

friday is senior skip day and tyler and i are going to kansas city for the day! it will be fun. my mom gave me some ideas of places to go--she grew up there, so she knows the town, forealz. tyler, i'm thinking we should see if addie wants to go with us--i have a feeling she's not going to be at katy's 'isolated location' (lol, did you see that letter? comedy gold!) and she shouldn't be stuck at home. but then again i don't know if she has other plans. anyway, it'd probably be better with three of us anyway, seeing as none of us will know what we're doing whatsoever. anyway... talk to me sometime today! edit: i talked to her today, she's doing something with ben in warrensburg. loser.

at 1:30 i have to go to the senior citizen prom for NHS, and i really hope it doesn't bomb. i think we only have like 20 people coming. TEH SUCK. it's three hours, aghh. this is my last NHS event, though, after this i am DONE with the ordeal. thank the lord.

commonly confused words test

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 23:21:24 GMT

English Genius
You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 100% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

---------

haha, i am a hardcore wordmaster.
WHO SHALL CHALLENGE ME?!?!

die, AP, die

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 03:09:54 GMT

never, ever take an AP class.
they are THE DEVIL.
i went to a study session tonight with my teacher and six of my classmates--and, ohmygod. this chemistry test is going to seriously be the most difficult thing i have EVER done. i am not looking forward to it.
however, it was an incredibly funny evening. mostly because none of us had any idea what we were doing. gordon's afraid that instead of giving him college credit, they're going to take it away from him because he's so lost. hah. i feel his pain.
absolutely the most difficult thing ever. ever ever ever.
maybe i'll at least be able to figure out a few by test day.

oh, there is one good thing out of it, though! we're probably going to get to take the test in the meeting room at the superintenent's office, and it is really nice. and apparently someone's buying us lunch afterward.
hah, this is a bleak situation if i have to be excited about air-conditioning and a free lunch.
*dies*

:(

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 21:42:57 GMT

the pope died.
i'm not even catholic and it makes me sad.

aghhh

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 05:30:58 GMT

this day has been very "ugh."
i feel like crap, my knee hurts, i didn't get enough sleep last night.
a bunch of mean-o boys stuck in the fifth grade make fun of my leg AND my obsession with harry potter. which, the joke was sort of funny, but the more i think about it, the more i despise it. and apparently it wasn't a one-time joke, either. they talked and talked and talked about it. because it was, you know, SO hilarious.
i go to this event in town that i'm supposed to work at--volunteer stuff--and i learn that they didn't expect me to be there anyway because of my knee and didn't really have much for me to do anyway. so mum had to take me back home. i feel bad for her... going into town for us is like forty-five minutes round trip.
once i'm home i decide to make some tea. but when i'm pouring it into my cup, i forget to hold the lid down and it sort-of-halfway falls off. and, of course, it's boiling. i think i've got second degree burns/blisters on two of my fingers. it happened four hours ago and i still can't get the pain to go away.
then i sit down to watch the notebook which i knew was supposed to be really sad, but i watched it anyway. and of course it's sad. but totally awesome too, because it makes me think "WHY DOESN'T RYAN GOSLING LOVE ME LIKE THAT DAMMIT." but it's really mostly sad, because it's about dementia, which my grandmother had. and my mom will probably have. and there's a good chance that i'll get it too. therefore... ugh.
i suppose the upside is that i just remembered that tyler gave me food today. and it was REALLY GOOD. thanks, tyler!

oww

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 04:16:21 GMT

oh dear today has been ... gahlgkh.
i wasted the whole morning doing nothing and then i went to work, likewise doing NOTHING like i always do at work. i guess the upside is that it pays $6.70 an hour for me to SHUFFLE PAPERS. please... SOMEBODY FIND ME A NEW SUMMER JOB. ok. that's not the point of this post. onward...
i get home and decide that i want to take a walk/run. emily (sister) decides to join me. this is cool because i haven't really been very athletic in the last few years and although i don't want to be a SUPERSTAR, i do want to keep in shape so i'm not a VEGETABLE in college. so we go, i walk, i run, and everything is lovely. we turn around to head home. i say "oh, i'll run a bit now." 3 paces into it and CRACKPOPZING my right knee collapses!
owww. it hurrrrrts. i guess i just popped it out of place or something but ohmygod does it hurt. i couldn't put any weight on it and emily helped me start to hobble back. the problem is that we're probably about 3/4 mile from home and i am going to have to hobble all the way, plus up some hills. this sucks. never mind the fact that we live on gravel roads.
about halfway there i start feeling faint so emily runs ahead to get mom and she picks me up in her car and takes me home. and i have been lying on the sofa like a baby ever since. WAHH.
it hurts, i still can't put any weight on it and i can't really do much more than hobble. i can't straighten it, either. at least it isn't swelling, though, which is good.
i have to go back to school tomorrow and i don't know what i'm going to do about, you know, walking to class. hah.
i guess this is what i get for trying to exert myself.

ahh

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 03:34:34 GMT

haha i just realized i have 50 gmail invites. wowww.

anybody need one?

ugh

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:32:33 GMT

today has sucked, i feel like a huge loser.
i hate that i go through these depressed phases where i feel like crap once a week or so.
i don't think it helps that i've been reading a lot of ridiculous sappy love novels/watching sappy movies lately. and books that aren't really about love but have inherent love-themes in them that make it seem like everyone can have a storybook relationship.
i mean, i feel like i need to go make out with prince william or something to make myself feel better.
aghgh!

it's my birthday

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 02:51:54 GMT

today was weird.
i was supposed to spend all day in the warm-up room helping during the band contest, but they had like 20 million annoying underclassmen that were waaay too eager to help so i really didn't do too much today. meradith and i kind of just walked around and listened to bands and ate food. we honestly only worked about 10% of the time, which really wasn't so bad.
then these weird smith-cotton people started following me around. there was a bunch of people in the gym, and there is a kitchenette attached to the gym and my stuff was in there, so i went to go get a drink and check my cell phone and these three guys from smith-cotton followed me. they just sat down and started talking to each other like it was no big deal. i didn't know if they weren't supposed to be in there or anything so i just sort of left them alone. then a load of their friends came in. and then more. and pretty soon there were like 10 people in this tiny kitchenette and they were spraying water everywhere and being obnoxious idiots. so i go find susan and ask if they're not supposed to be in there and she says they're not so i kick them out and they get mad at me.
ahahhahah funny point though: we ask them where they are from and they say "warrensburg" and meradith says "but i thought your color was red" and they said "no this is red"(it was yellow) and meradith says "oh my eyesight must be bad then" and i say "i think they're lying to us, meradith" and they all laugh. nevermind they're all wearing s-c letter jackets.
okay, another point, what is the big deal with letter jackets? it seems like boonville is the only school that doesn't really get into them. maybe because ours are extra-ugly or something. anyway.
then meradith and i go sit at a table in the gym and the three guys follow us and sit down with us! aghgh! they didn't even say anything, they just sat there. then finally they started talking to us and... it was weird. they were really, really strange.
hah, so a few hours later i catch one of them in the kitchenette again and i sort of get mad at him, but he really wasn't so bad so i talked to him for a bit and he tells me that i need to do something tonight for my birthday. because i am eighteen now.
it's a tuesday in boonville, there really isn't a whole lot to do. but... ah well.

anyway, the day was weird, especially all those sedalia people. this was really long, and that's strange because i'm not really in a talkative mood. i'm dead tired and it's only tuesday.

help

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 03:33:42 GMT

i need help.
i'm asking for one of these for my birthday but i don't know what color to get. i'm considering either carbon or ghost.
any suggestions?
they're made of silicone so either one will probably attract dust. and the ghost one glows "aqua blue" in the dark. so..
idk. opinions?

girly men

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 04:50:28 GMT

the male beauty pageant was tonight and it was amazing.
it took a really long time (from about 7:15 to 9:45) but was completely worth it. ten high school boys competing in a BEAUTY pageant. like i said... amazing is just about the only word to describe it.
finke won, and rightfully so... he was so ridiculously uninhibited, which was totally out of character for him. he's the kind of person that is normal and funny around his friends and people he knows well but he freaks out over stuff like this all the time--small stuff, even, not to mention parading himself around an auditorium completely full of people. for instance, he was nervous last year to give a speech in front of the whole student body about why he wanted to be student council treasurer. AND he was the only one running. see what i mean?
anyway, he was brilliant. they did a "personality parade" to introduce the contestants and they walked around the stage dressed in clothes that fit their personalities. kyle came out totally wrapped in this brown sleeping bag. he could barely walk. the announcer said "kyle describes himself as a cocoon, keeping his emotions inside. but we know that's not true, because he is really a social butterfly," and he flings the sleeping bag off and he's wearing a black bodysuit with these huge butterfly wings and he starts prancing and flying around the stage. it was comedy gold. then for his talent, he mimed to the song "torn" by natalie imbruglia. the one that goes "i thought i saw a man brought to life..." aghaghghghghhghaghgk funniest thing EVER. he definitely deserved to win. oh, and then, for his interview question... they asked him who he would bring as his partner on "the great american race" and he said "mr. ehlers. because he is god and he knows everything." aahhhh!! see what i mean?!

other highlights... adam, jesse and tanner yodeling... west breaking a jump rope doing a peewee herman impression... dalton changing his interview question answer THREE TIMES ("if i were a color of the rainbow i would be indigo, because i don't know what it is. or yellow because.. i don't know. or green! okay, green. because the trees are green half the time.")...oh, the whole thing was great. there was a lot more i'm sure i've forgotten, but... male beauty pageants are amazing.

this is pretty cool

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 03:56:13 GMT

where i've been:

create your own personalized map of the USA

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also, this.

los deportes

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 20:00:27 GMT

high school girls basketball team is playing in the quarterfinals tonight in hannibal.
i actually thought about going. even though hannibal is really far away.
but i'm sick today all of a sudden, so that's not happening. ugh, i hate being feverish and not being able to do ANYTHING.
this day is lasting forever.

eeee

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 05:52:00 GMT

i officially love the university of iowa.
why? because they just gave me $28,000.
eeeeeeee!! i got it! a $7000 renewable scholarship. i cannot even put my happiness into words. just... unbelievable. mom and i jumped around the kitchen screaming for 10 minutes.
it is just... agh! now this means that it is actually a consideration because now it will cost about the same for me to go to iowa as it would for me to go to MU. it's so fantastic. only 50 out of over 550 kids got it. and I DID. i am really, really proud. just the thought of earning something like this is amazing. aslgkhs;lgkh;dglksgd i can't even talk, that is how happy i am.

that sounds like a big blob of ramble, and it is. i apologize. but... eee!

parents again

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 04:50:27 GMT

senior pictures are stupid, i wish they would die. i wouldn't even get any if it wasn't for my dad--he's making me. seriously. we had this big ridiculous fight about it and i finally said "if it's going to be such a big deal i just won't get any" and he REALLY didn't like that idea. the only reason he wants me to get them is for my grandmother's "wall." she has this weird wall that has a senior picture of each of her graduated grandchildren (all 15 or so of them), and i guess it's like this big deal or something when your picture gets put up on the wall. i know that's the only reason he's forcing me to get them.

now that i'm on the subject of dad-complaining--i asked him to finish my closet for my birthday. i mean, he's only been meaning to do it for TEN YEARS, how hard could it be? it's sad that the only way i can get him to finish it is to ask for it for a present. and--it's not even just mine that he's doing, he's going to finish my sister's too. ugh. drives me crazy. the sad thing is that i'm only going to get to enjoy it for a few months before i leave :\

academic awards night was tonight and i got recognized for a crapload of stuff. my parents kept going on and on about how proud they were and how i've exceeded their expectations and whatnot. what-everrr. both of them said something about how i did well for myself and how they didn't ever expect me to do so well... right. it's because of them that i pushed myself so hard in school. i mean, all these years, they would frown if i got a B. and then freak out if i got a B- because it was close to a C. so i guess i'm proud, but not for me. the only things that i am really proud of for me, schoolwise, is my national merit commended student award and the fact that i got a 36 on the english section of the ACT. the rest of it... i don't care about, i'm not particularly proud of. it's sad. it's also sad that the people i did it for--my parents--say "oh, we're so proud, we didn't expect you to do so well" when really they expect out the wazoo and all of my accomplishments are no big deal because they really ARE expected of me.

sigh.

i am so depressed again.

bday

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 00:53:08 GMT

i have been feeling really yucky lately.

my 18th birthday is coming up in... 22 days, and my mom asked me the other day what i want, and i have no idea whatsoever. i would much rather have one really nice big gift instead of several little ones. i have no ideas, though.

sigh. i need to think on that.

money

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 04:02:34 GMT

i get paid on monday. it isn't going to be much, i didn't work nearly as much as i should have, and it was a short month.
i really need to start saving money. i honestly do not know what happens to everything i have. it just... disappears. magically. and it sucks.
i'm going to stop impulse-buying and start focusing on saving for what i actually need.
i'm going to have to get a different job this summer. my mom doesn't want me leaving town, though, so i can't go over to columbia where all the good jobs are. i could work at the nordyne factory eight hours a day and have a completely boring job that pays a ton, or i could work for slightly more hours than i have now (10 a week!!) at a place like i do now, doing mindless boring busy work for not-so-much money. and i am not doing fast food. no no no.

ugh. money sucks. i wish i had a lot of it so i didn't have to worry about it. but who doesn't wish that?